Skip to main content

10 early signs that you're in an abusive relationship

Love is blind – especially when you're head over
heels. But real danger could be lurking behind
the flowers.
Abuse comes in many forms (emotional, sexual
and physical). For an abuser, relationships are
about control and possession and jealousy, but
never love.
You may be able to escape and spare yourself a
broken heart and a black eye if you look out for
the following warning signs:
Too much, too soon
You've known the guy for less than a few weeks
and he is starting to talk about moving in
together, or marriage, or about kids. You feel
flattered, but pressurised, and he keeps
pushing.
If he's pushing for commitment long before
you're ready to do anything of the kind, this
guy is mightily insecure and is looking to
formalise your relationship to give him a sense
of worth and accomplishment and ownership
over you. For him, this is not about your
happiness
Heart-lung machine
He wants to be with you all the time, and if you
want to spend some time with your friends, he
tags along whether he is invited or not.
He plans your weekends, your evenings and
springs surprises on you. But he never really
asks what you want to do.
You start to feel a bit claustrophobic, even
though the attention is initially flattering. You
start to get the feeling that his whole life is
about this relationship.
Gifts galore
He showers you with gifts – some of them huge
and expensive and inappropriately large. This
makes you feel uneasy. He is doing this to
create a sense of obligation in you.
It's difficult to say no to someone who is so
generous to you. The odd bunch of flowers is
fine, but jewellery and designer items are
inappropriate at the beginning of a
relationship.
Oh, it's you
He shows up at your work constantly and
comes to your home uninvited on a constant
basis. This is a dangerous sign, as these could
be the beginning stages of stalking behaviour.
It's not so much that he wants to see you – he's
checking up on you.
Telephone terrorist
He phones constantly (in fact, he probably
phoned you the first time the very day after he
met you) and sends text messages all the time.
This is a preamble to possible future controlling/
stalking behaviour. He gets agitated when he
can't get hold of you.
Your friends/family express reservations
More than one friend tells you to take it slowly.
They can't quite put their finger on it, but
something about this guy bothers them. They
might even find him a little creepy, but are too
polite to say so.
Temper, temper
He has road rage attacks, and is aggressive to
people who do not do exactly as he wants them
to.
He feels he is right about everything and things
that go wrong are always someone else's fault.
This guy has serious ego and control issues and
is paranoid. He breaks things. The message
behind this is clear: this is what happens when I
don't get what I want, and you could be next.
He has few long-term friends
His friendships all seem relatively recent. He
fights with everyone and they stop being his
friends. Once or twice, OK, but all the time? He
will be fighting with you next. That's a promise.
He is also quite secretive about his own life,
friends, family and connections and says only
nasty things about his exes if he speaks about
them at all. This guy has a history he doesn't
want you to find out about.
He isolates you
He makes it uncomfortable for friends or family
to visit, and starts isolating you by criticising
everyone you know, or telling you they are not
good for you. This is done very subtly, and is
often noticed by others before you pick up on it.
He also starts belittling you in front of others.
Jealousy makes you nasty
He watches your every move and starts
accusing you of flirting with other men, or
cheating on him.
He starts to try and exercise control over what
you wear, how you do your hair, where you go
and with whom. If you don't comply he will
start to insult you and possibly even start
calling you names.
Get out, and get out fast. It gets more and
more difficult the longer you stay. And no,
nothing you do is going to change or placate
this guy. He doesn't want to be placated. Don't
even try. Just run.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dbanj’s Absence At Mavin Records Not Felt – Dr. Sid

Dbanj was one of the members of Mohit records. Few years back, Dbanj had a misunderstanding with the group and he and his brother decided to start their own record label which is DB Records. While the rest of Mohit formed Mavins.Dr Sid a member of Mavins said in a recent interview that, "We are not missing Dbanj, no, not at all. He is doing so well and he has gone on to drop a couple of hits and the same goes for Mavin; we have dominated the last two years of Nigerian music no doubt so we are also doing so well,"

Davido shares adorable moments with daughter Imade(Photos)

After being away for a while, the proud father got to chill with his daughter before leaving again..See more below

Funniest jokes on Tiwa Savage/Tee billz Saga

Since the news of marriage crisis of superstar singer, Tiwa Savage and husband, Teebillz went viral on the social media on Thursday, Nigerians and their fans have been reacting to the saga. The husband, had gone on the Instagram, Thursday morning, to announce that all is not well in his marriage, citing infidelity, betrayal, witchcraft and even bad luck. Here are some of the hilarious comments made by Nigerians. Femi Salawu wrote ‘Breaking News! Nigerian Hackers Deny Touching Tee Billz’s IG Account. Threatens Tiwa Savage’s Hubby With Libel Suit…Hackers still angry…hehehe’ @justification wrote ‘When Tiwa sang ‘Doro is a cheerful giver’ we didn’t understand what she meant. Now, we know better.’Mitrovic wrote ‘So if Annie was feeding Teebillz, and 2face was giving Tiwa, was that a fair trade?’Iniubong wrote ‘They will be recording at night alone in the studio and Don Jazzy will be doing only ad-lib. He will not press brezz abi ? Ya not serious.’ Francis wrote ‘Even Don jazzy said ...